I don’t know who I am any longer. I miss being young. I miss what love gave me, even in the darker times of it. Im sick on a family vacation and all I can think about is the past.
About 24 hours ago I decided to take an eighth of extremely potent psychedelic mushrooms. I have tripped twice before, once on LSD and once on AL-LAD, so I decided that it was time to actually trip on shrooms. I say actually because I have tried them twice with no luck. Two of my friends and I went to a vacant area in the middle of Sedona, Arizona, to camp and trip on these mushrooms. After taking the shrooms I wanted to chase the sunset, so as the sun started to fall behind the mountain of red rock, I decided to climb up after it. It really wasn’t dangerous at all, sober or not. When I got to the wall with my friends I really started tripping. The world was amazing. I knew I was on a rock flying through space with intense speed. The sky’s colors melted together and subtle patterns appeared when I looked hard enough. All of the sudden while looking at the sky my friend started to become uneasy and he kept saying something was wrong. He was right, we were tripping. We also knew the sun was going to be completely gone soon. We told him that we would hike back. On the hike back the sun completely fell behind the mountain. Everything was black. We had no flashlight other than my phone. As I said earlier, the trip was getting more intense, and we quickly got lost in a field of cactuses and rocks. Eventually after freaking out and running around in the dark we found out campsite. Instead of being relieved, once of my friends consistently kept saying something was wrong. He was bad tripping. He said he needed to go, and I obviously couldn’t let that happen because we were all messed up. I set the LED flashlight on the ground and sat around it with my other good friend and invited my buddy that was freaking out to come sit with us and be spiritually awakened by the light. At first he say down with us, but then he diddly jumped up and instead that we were not real. After trying to persuade him to calm down e grew to be the most nervous I have ever seen him. He went to his car and got out a golf club and said to us that we were trying to kill him and he wasn’t going to let that happen. He came after me and my other friend with this golf club. All this time I am totally tripping out. I am in a totally new universe that only consisted of me, my two friends, and this extremely bright and colorful led on the ground. Eventually I was able to snag the golf club from my friend, but the tension didn’t go away. My friend who was freaking out got in his car as my other friend and me hid in the other car. My friend freaking out then drove his car right up to ours, in a threatening way. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally knew that I needed to protect myself and that nothing else mattered. I felt no connection to anyone. I felt hopeless. I felt like I was on another planet. I thought I was about to be murdered. To make a long story short, the drugs eventually wore off and we all awkwardly came back to reality. We went in and out of tripping for the next hour, with threats coming and going from both sides. Eventually much later in the night my friend realized he tried to murder my other friend and I. It was extremely awkward. Today has been a weird day. A day ago I was tripping on mushrooms and now I am on a family vacation. Maybe I need to slow down on the drugs, because they sure put me in weird circumstances.
Got ahold of one of the most potent strains of shrooms. Going to the Grand Canyon tomorrow with the homies. Hopefully the third time is the charm.
Losing direction. Let’s hope this party tomorrow and spring break with the family can fix that.